Retiro: retreat from october 04 to october 15, 2022

 

With the end of innocence, faced with a challenging world, I tried to face it. My goal was to become strong, physically and mentally. I dedicated years, decades of my life to developing my mind and body. The body through physical training and fighting, the mind through academic training, philosophy, and meaningful reading. I came in contact with meditation, but with the focus of controlling my emotions and directing my will. In the end I was able to reach my goals and accomplish my objectives. However, after so much time, so many techniques, so much effort, an emptiness remained. An emptiness that afflicted me, no matter how hard my mind tried to explain it, there was no coherence. The goals, all created, no longer satisfied me or managed to distract me. Among the goals I had created was to go on a meditation retreat. And at the most desperate point, the path revealed itself and God acted. Inexplicable coincidences arose and the opportunity to immerse myself in a silent and meditative retreat emerged. Demanding from me a decision, a surrender.

During the retreat I learned about Kriya Yoga, meditation as a path to God. But all the effort to build a strong body and mind would not be in vain. During the retreat the internal war was fierce. The surrender for meditation requires a renunciation of the mind, of the body. It would not be easy and it was not. I was able to experience some moments of surrender and awakening to this new world. This time, not just superficially it, but surrendering to it. Diving without fear, greed or any other feeling. Just surrender.

Something has changed, I don't know what it is, and this time I won't try to mentalize in an attempt to find out and "control" it. I will just be.

Thank you to the Ashram;

Thank you Swamini Anandamayi Ma, Swami Sankara, Gaya and Swami Ram;

Thank you Sriman Narayana!

 Thank you to my path brothers who lived their internal battles and dedicated themselves fully. You have my deep respect!